


Special best buds

by superboy



Category: Marvel (Movies), X-Men (Movies), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Flirting, French Kissing, Friendship / Flirting / Thinking of You Fest, Friendship/Love, Love, M/M, Make up sex, Romantic Friendship, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, banshee/havok - Freeform, havok/banshee - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-17
Updated: 2012-07-19
Packaged: 2017-11-10 04:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/462405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superboy/pseuds/superboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-movie. Charles' spending time on his office all day, Hank is in the lab. Sean and Alex are alone most of the days. And sometimes they do stuff that friends normally wouldn't do, and their feelings both confuse them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It might seem like this story is a oneshot, but it's two chapters even if it might not seem that way. My first Havok/Banshee fic!

_It hadn't really been long since Cuba. Three weeks to be exact, actually. Charles hadn't started up the school yet, so there was just the four of them in the huge mansion at the moment. Charles, Hank, Sean and Alex. The school was probably going open for students in a month or two, depending how Charles is doing. He was spending most of his time on his office, sorting through papers and notes Hank had written for him. Notes such as, coordination’s for mutants that discovered in the Cerebro and where they are now and what their abilities are. But honestly, how long could that take to sort through? God knows what he was doing. And Hank was spending most of his time in the lab, he was still not used to his blue fur. He didn't like it much, but he said that he’s trying to be positive after all. ‘Mutant and proud’, as Raven had told him before disappearing with Erik._  
  
Ergo, Sean and Alex spend their time with each other, since Charles and Hank are both busy during the days. Sure it’s a huge mansion, but there isn’t much to do really. So Alex and Sean spend their time in different ways. Maybe in ways friends normally wouldn’t.

It was cloudy and humid outside, finally after six days of soaking sun. Sean sat on the ground outside the mansion, back towards the cold brick wall, taking a smoke. He was wearing a green t-shirt and beige shorts that ends just above the knees. He was also wearing sunglasses, even if it wasn’t sunny outside. It was - as told - cloudy, but a weird light occurred. Like the sun was trying to push itself through the clouds. The light was killing him and gave him a slight headache, so he had to use them. He was barefoot, his converse stood beside him. It wasn’t really warm outside, but it was moisture so garment after garment came off his pale, freckly body. He sighed and pulled his hand through his red hair. It was insanely boring, there was literally nothing to do besides training and just… sitting. And he had trained enough for this week, in his opinion. Alex, on other hand, trains every day. He’s running, lifting weights, kills mannequins here and there and does small exercises like push-ups and sit-ups. Sean spent his time with watching him train, or wait for his training to finish so they could kill some time together.

_Sean and Alex are best friends, but their relationship is kind of special. They both deny it though. The rush of warmth running through Sean when Alex is taking his shirt off during his training, or the way Alex’s heart rushes when Sean licks the tip of the bottle before drinking. That isn’t really a best friend’s reaction, isn’t it?_

Sean raised his eyebrows and tipped his head forward to look above his sunglasses. He lowered his cigarette and exhaled a small cloud of smoke. He looked over the lawn and saw Alex walking towards him. He raised his free hand and waved, Alex did the same and started jogging. When he reached Sean he lie down on the grass in front of him.  
“Dude you’re all sweaty”, Sean said and poked him in his side with his toe. Alex laughed and nodded, he breathed heavily after his training.  
“You’re smoking again?”, he asked and looked up. Sean leaned his head back towards the brick wall, took a puff of his cigarette and exhaled.  
“I sure do”, he replied. “I have nothing better to do.”  
Alex put his arm over his eyes and sighed loudly.  
“Your sunglasses are ridiculous.” he said with a laugh. He reached out his free hand and wiggled his finger back and forth. “Can I have some of that?”  
Sean shrugged and handed him the cigarette.  
“You shouldn’t smoke after training, douche.” Sean said with a smile.  
“Shut up.” Alex replied and took a few puffs. Sean leaned forward towards him and reached out for the cigarette.  
“Dude you’re gonna finish the whole thing, gimme that.” He said and tried to grab the cigarette. Alex laughed and rolled on his side with his back towards Sean.  
“If you want it, you better grab it”, Alex stood up and raised his hand with the cigarette in the air. Sean could reach it easily, but he didn’t want to make it that simple. Instead he stepped back, crossed his arms and smirked. He opened his mouth, and Alex raised his hand with his palm out towards him.  
“Whoa there boy, no screaming – that’s cheating.”  
“Fine.” Sean said with a shrug, took his sunglasses off, tossed them on the ground and tackled him to the ground instead. The cigarette fell to the ground and was put out, but none of the boys cared about it. They rolled around in the grass and down a little hill. They stopped in a sudden, Sean on top of Alex, laughing and panting.  
“Fuck you”, Sean said with a laugh and pulled his shirt. “Also this is sweaty and disgusting. You should do something about it.”  
“Should I take it off?”  
“No. Don’t you dare move; I’m having it nice like this.” Sean said and put his head on Alex’s chest and closed his eyes. Almost out reflex Alex started playing with Sean’s hair. Like it was natural for him. He could feel Sean’s breath, and Sean could hear Alex’s heartbeat. Yeah, it was nice like this. They’re both quiet for around ten minutes, and Sean decided to break the silence.  
“What time is it?”  
“I have no idea.” Alex replied, still playing with Sean’s ginger locks. “When I quit training it was five or something. And when I got to you I think it was five thirty.”  
“So around dinner time then.”  
“I guess.”  
“Are you hungry?”  
“No.”  
“Then let’s go inside. You gotta eat something anyway, you’ve been training all day. Come.” Sean stood up and reached his hand out for Alex to grab it, and pulled him up. “You have grass fucking everywhere dude.”  
“Whatever.” Alex shrugged, but didn’t say no when Sean began to brush it off. Alex lifted his hand and pulled some grass out of Sean’s hair, with a grin on their faces they started to walk back into the mansion.

They ate together with Charles and Hank, and everyone went separate ways again after eating and after the plates had been cleaned. Hank didn’t return to his lab, he went straight to his bedroom with the words ‘I’m going to bed early tonight’. Charles went to his room too, and Alex and Sean were alone. As usual, no big deal. They didn’t say much, they walked towards the common room with the little TV and started to zap through the few channels. But when nothing good was on, they just put on some kind of radio show with politics debate. No one really watched the tv, but they both sat in the couch, both with their backs leaned against the armrest. They started playing with their feet, kicking and tickling each other with their toes. They laughed and their feet moved faster. Alex threw himself on top of Sean and they both fell to the floor, laughing and rolling around like little boys.  
“You think you can beat me huh?!” Alex panted and grabbed Sean’s arm, bended it to the side. Sean snorted and rolled around so he was on top of Alex instead.  
“Yes I do”, he said with an evil smirk. Their wrestling almost got out of hand, but the boys laughed and continued. Sean pushed Alex a bit too hard and he fell into the table, it fell over and the flowerpot that stood on top of it fell to the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces. Charles must have heard, because he entered both their minds and asked them what was going on.  
“We uh, the flowerpot fell over, prof.” Sean replied out loud, holding back a laugh.  
“Sorry professor”, Alex said and smacked his hand over his mouth, it was hard trying not to laugh at the situation.  
“Well clean it up then, and you boys should go to bed. It’s getting late”, Charles said and they felt how he disappeared out of their minds. The boys burst out in a laughed and picked up piece after piece.  
“Yes, _dad_ ”, Sean said sarcastically. He turned to Alex and bit his lower lip. “I didn’t hurt you, did I? I’m sorry dude, I didn’t mean to push you that hard.”  
“No it’s okay”, Alex said and smiled at him. “It was just a bump, the flowerpot took way much more damage than I. We’re mutants after all.”  
The boys cleaned the shattered pieces up and put the table back in place, and they never really stopped laughing. They turned the TV off and left the room with their arms around each other’s shoulders.  
“Are you tired?” Sean asked and looked at Alex.  
“Yeah. I think I’m going to bed, you?”  
“Yeah me too. See you tomorrow then?”  
“See you tomorrow.”  
Alex was right about to walk to the other direction, but Sean grabbed his arm and pulled him close in a hug. Alex didn’t hesitate, and he hugged him back. Not really knowing what was going on, but it felt good. It felt… natural, somehow.  
“I’m sorry about the bump. Really dude I’m so fucking sorry.” Sean said when they broke apart, scratching his neck nervously. Alex bumped his shoulder and smirked.  
“Dude, don’t worry. It didn’t hurt, okay? Go to bed now and I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.”  
“Good night.”

Sean and Alex walked different to directions, but they were still on the same floor. But their rooms were pretty far away from each other’s. When Sean got into his room, he closed the door and leaned towards it with a deep sigh. Suddenly all those anxious feelings bubbled inside him and he slid with his back against the door, down to the floor. There he sat, knees up to his chin, pulling his hair.  
“Ugh what the fuck”, he whispered, tears burning in his eyes. What the fuck is going on? His relationship with Alex is not a normal teenager’s best bros-relationship. It’s something else, but what the fuck is it? Just _what?!_ Sean cussed again and hit his head towards the door, two or three times. He started crying. He had feelings for Alex, he couldn’t deny it. It’s the classic one, he doesn’t know if Alex has feelings back or if he just sees them as best friends. It’s fucking impossible to know. Sean sighed and wiped his tears, stood up and stripped to his underwear. He crawled into bed and lied there for around an hour. He looked at his clock that stood on his nightstand. 1:02 pm. He sat up, kicked the covers off and got out of bed. He left his room heading towards Alex’s room, without bothering getting dressed. So he left in his undies. He’s done this many times. It’s not the first time they come to each other at night. Either it’s Sean coming to Alex, or Alex coming to Sean. But most of the times it’s Sean coming to Alex, and he feels a bit ashamed about it.

Alex can’t sleep. He lies awake with his arms crossed behind his head on his pillow. He’s not wearing a pajama, it’s too warm for that. He’s in his undies and nothing on his upper body.  
He’s been thinking a lot lately. About him himself, and his relationship with Sean. He has a difficulty with trusting people completely, but already on Cuba after knowing each other so shortly, they trusted each other. When Alex threw himself off the boat, knowing that Sean would catch him and not miss. And how natural their behavior is towards each other. How natural it feels to lie in the grass on top of each other, or hugging for no reason. Or coming to each other during the night. It’s all just so natural. How did it become so natural?  
His thoughts were interrupted when his door creaked open. Sean stick his head in the little opening and cleared his throat.  
“I can’t sleep”, he said. Alex sat up in his bed, and Sean entered his room and closed the door. The moonlight shined through the window and fell over Alex’s bed and half of his floor. Sean stood in the shadows. Alex tilted his head to the side and watched him.  
“What’s the matter? Come into the light.” Alex said with a slightly worried tone in his whispering voice. Sean took a deep breath, stepped forward and sat down on Alex’s bedside. Alex looked at him, lifted his hand and touched Sean’s shoulder, shook it gently.  
”Hey,” he said. “What’s the matter..? Your eyes are all red and swollen… have you been crying? Sean? Sean look at me?”  
”Dude just what the fuck are we?” Sean asked, without looking at him. He looked down in his lap, nervously playing with his own fingers. Alex hesitated for a moment. What would be a good reply for that one? Shit, what was he supposed to say? Sean glanced at him, and he bit his lip.  
“We’re best friends, aren’t we?” Alex said, raised his eyebrows and smiled – looking for a decent reply. Sean sighed and looked down again.  
“I don’t think best buds do these kind of stuff man.”  
Alex raised an eyebrow and smiled half-heartedly.  
”Do… do what?”  
Sean looked up, looked at him with a frustrated expression. He made a gesture in the air with his hands.  
”Are you shitting me, this! All this I – I just, agh! All these fucking things man. Come to each other during the night, hold hands in our sleep, roll around in the grass, lie on top of each other, play with each other’s hands and feet, hug spontaneously and… and I’m pretty sure a guy don’t get a hard on by watching his best bud take his shirt off…” The last sentence came out as a mumble.  
Alex didn’t know what to reply. The worst part is that Sean was right. He was so right. Best friends don’t really do this kind of stuff, especially not two men. Alex looked down, searching with his hand for Sean’s. He found it, and started playing with his fingers.  
”Then we’re… then we’re special best buds.” Alex whispered after a moment of silence. Sean sighed, that wasn’t really a reply none of them wanted. But for now, that have to do.  
”Yeah. Special best buds.”, Sean said, and linked his fingers with Alex’s.

_To be continued._


	2. Special best buds - final chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second and final chapter of Special best buds.  
> Something happened that night. And it had its consequences, both bad and good.

Sean woke up with a jolt, gasping for air. It was like he’d been holding his breath is his sleep. His throat was sore and dry, he rubbed his eyes and looked around. He was still in Alex’s room, hadn’t gotten back to his own bed. He felt a weight on his waist and looked down. Alex had his arm around him. He lied with his stomach against Sean’s back, still in a deep sleep. Sean sat up, tried to catch the moment, what was going on. He rubbed his eyes a second time, and when he opened them he saw his underwear hanging from Alex’s lamp on his nightstand. Sean blinked and stared at them, just hanging there. Then it hit him. What had happened that night. A warm blush spread over his cheeks and he swung his feet over the bedside. The second after it all was clear, he remembered now. **What** a night.

Alex had asked him to sleep in his bed for the night, and without hesitating one bit Sean accepted. They went to bed with Alex faced to Sean’s back. After lying like that for fifteen minutes, Alex came fumbling with his fingers for Sean’s hand. Sean grabbed it and put both their hands against his chest, his heart was racing. Alex nuzzled with the tip of his nose in Sean’s hair. It started off with innocent snuggle, but when Alex let his warm tongue slowly glide over Sean’s neck, the innocence disappeared with a blink.  
Sean turned around, facing towards him. They both sat up and let their hands slide over each other’s bodies. Forehead to forehead, chest to chest, both panting and both being very nervous.  
”I,” Sean said between breaths, “I’ve never done such a thing before. Let alone with a man.”  
Alex panted, nibbled Sean’s shoulder.  
”Neither have I. But it’s okay – It’s okay, I want you. I fucking want you, now”, he panted, scratched Sean’s back with his nails. Sean was getting hard and really sexually frustrated. He nodded. He was nervous, but he trusted Alex. It was alright.  
Alex pushed Sean down in the bed, fumbling for his underwear while nibbling and licking his neck.  
”We, we don’t have anything to, I mean, we can’t fuck dry it’ll hurt too much”, Sean panted with a slightly worried tone.  
Alex sat up, opened a little door in his nightstand and pulled out a small bottle of lube.  
“Are you serious? You have lube in your nightstand?” Sean snorted, still panting from sexual frustration.  
”Hell yeah I do, you’ll never know when you’ll get laid. Matter of fact it’s old, I’ve had it for months. I haven’t gotten a chance to use it though, but now it seems like I do. With a fucking man, that was a surprise to be honest.”  
Sean rolled his eyes and pulled him back in bed. Both panting they started all over again, with the licking, nibbling and groping.  
”Just get them off”, Alex panted and ripped Sean’s underwear off, tossing them somewhere none of them could see. Alex underwear was gone the following second, they were both hard already.  
”Fuck me, just fucking _fuck me_ ”, Sean hissed between his teeth. Alex covered Sean’s mouth with his hand, and the following second he thrusted into him.  
Sean screamed into Alex’s hand, tilted his head back in the pillow, clawing Alex’s back, both moaning and panting. It hurt so much, yet it felt so fucking good. Having a dick up his ass for the first time was a new experience, but it was with Alex so it felt good. Sean moaned and pressed his palms to his forehead, having his legs around Alex’s hips. Alex thrusted into him a multiple times, resisting the urge to scream.  
”Ngh- fuck!” Sean moaned, Alex got down and bit his shoulder and pulled his hair. “Please, harder, yes agh!”  
”Shit hngh, I can’t- I- fuck!” Alex moaned loudly and bit his own lip. Sean received aching thrusts with pleasure and he turned his head to the side, lifted the pillow and pressed it to his face and screamed. Alex pressed his teeth together, pressed his eyes shut and cussed loudly.  
The sex didn’t last for so long, but they both collapsed on top of each other, panting and gasping for breath. They lied in Alex’s bed, Sean let his hand slide up and down on Alex’s slightly wounded back. He had scratch wounds from Sean’s nails and Sean’s ass was sore as fuck. But it was good.  
They fell asleep on top of each other, and Sean was the first one to wake up a few hours later.

Sean shook his head, and suddenly he got a bit panicky. What if someone heard them? They had been nowhere _near_ quiet, _and_ they had a telepath in the house.  
”Shit”, Sean cussed and ripped his underwear from the lamp, it fell over with a smash. Sean put on his underwear carelessly and stood up, pulling his hair in a frustrated manner.  
”Sean?” Alex said with a sleepy voice, the slamming lamp had waked him up. Sean turned towards him with a panicked expression.  
”They _must_ have heard us. We’re fucking screwed man! Charles will kick us out and you’ll return to prison and I have no fucking where to go and SHIT what was I thinking?!” Sean rambled in panic, walked around in the room still pulling his hair.  
”Calm the fuck down dude, what are you talking about?” Alex mumbled sleepily, rubbing his eye with his palm. Sean saw Alex underwear on the ground and handed them over.  
”WE had SEX, remember?”, he said with a sarcastic tone. Alex blinked, stared at Sean and put his underwear back on in a hurry.  
”Holy fucking shit we did,” Alex whispered and stepped out of bed, stumbling around on the floor like Sean did minutes earlier. “Ouch my back stings.”  
Sean let out a frustrated sigh.  
”My ASS stings, no it fucking hurts man!”, he said, threw his hands up and made a weird gesture due to frustration.  
Alex looked down, all of a sudden a rush of guilt attacked him. He walked across the room, opened his closet, took a towel out and tossed it over his shoulder.  
”I need to take a shower. We both shut up about this, it never happened.” Alex said without looking at Sean, and left the room.  
Sean stared at the door for a couple of seconds after Alex left, then started cussing loudly and punched the wall multiple times.  
”GOD. FUCKING. DAMN IT.”, he shouted between the punches. He stopped and looked at the watch, it was 9:34 in the morning. Charles usually gets up at eight and Hank even earlier. He peeked through the door, looked around in the corridor. No one around to be seen, the corridor was empty. Sean ran back to his room, slammed the door close and sat down on his bed.  
”Sean Cassidy you’re the biggest idiot existing”, he muttered to himself. He let out a sigh, stood up, took a towel from his closet and went to take a shower in one of the many shower rooms. Hopefully Alex wouldn’t be in there.

Charles and Hank had both heard Sean’s and Alex’s little… bedroom activity. But no one asked, they just didn’t… look at each other, but no one said anything and the day moved on in its usual scheme. Alex never showed up for neither breakfast nor lunch, and Sean started to get a bit worried. Alex had said that he wanted to forget about all this and they haven’t talked since then. They haven’t even seen each other. Alex was nowhere to be seen. When dinner started to close up on them, Sean got worried for real. He hadn’t talked to anyone in the house since… well, the sex. But he needed to ask Charles about Alex. It took him a while, but finally he had courage enough to walk up to him at his office and ask.  
”Ch… Charles?” Sean said in a broken voice and cleared his throat. Charles looked up and closed the book he was reading.  
”Yes, Sean?” he said and smiled. Sean bit his lower lip and scratched the back of his neck.  
”I uh, I haven’t seen Alex today and I wonder if you know where he is? Not that I really care, but he’s… well I haven’t seen him today, no I told you that already, sorry, uh… well he’s gone. Or not gone, he’s somewhere I can’t find him. And uh, you know, I thought that maybe you knew where he is. Shit – sorry – I don’t care though I’m just, curious?” Sean stuttered and slipped the tongue multiple times. Charles looked at him with a calm facial expression.  
”You don’t have to pretend, my friend. I know what’s going on, I’m a telepath you know. I’ve known about this for a long time, ever since you started to have feelings for him. I think I knew before you even knew completely yourself. Don’t worry, Sean, I won’t judge.”  
Sean could finally breathe and relax properly, he let out a relieved sigh and looked at him.  
”So… do you know where he is?” he asked, still a bit nervous actually. Charles nodded.  
”He’s training in his bunker, he’s been there all day. Go talk to him, it’s what you want. Now off you go, I’m a bit busy”, Charles said and blinked.  
Sean nodded, said thank you and left Charles’ office.

As soon as he closed the door he started running, through the long corridors, down the stairs and out on the backyard. He ran as fast as he could, and when he reached the bunker he slowed down. He opened the big, heavy door and stepped inside. It was a bit chilly in there behind the thick, cement walls. Alex was behind closed doors, and the green light was blinking. Seemed like he was taking a rest. Sean hesitated for a second when he put his hand on the doorknob. Alex seemed upset this morning, what if Sean would get in danger when he got inside?  
No. Alex would never hurt anyone. Never. Not after what happened in his past. Sean took a deep breath and stepped inside. Dark, burnt rings was all over the walls, ceiling and floor. Old and new. Alex sat with his back against the wall, knees up, arms resting on his knees, head resting on his arms, face down. Sean closed the door and took a step inside.  
”I’m not hungry.” Alex said without looking up.  
”Alex, it’s me.” Sean said with a sigh. He saw how Alex clenched his fists.  
”Leave me alone.” Alex said between his teeth. Sean sighed loudly and threw his hands in the air for a sec, followed by them falling down his sides making a slapping sound.  
”What’s the matter with you?” he asked, trying not to sound mad. Not quite yet. Alex looked up, he looked mad.  
”What’s the matter with _me?!_ ” he hissed.  
”Yes, YOU. What the fuck is the matter with _you?!_ ”, Sean hissed back. He sounded upset now. Alex stood up quickly. But before he said anything, Sean walked up to him, pointing at him.  
”I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you and I don’t know if you remember, but this last you fucked me senseless! And you wake up, trying to pretend like it never fucking happened?! You haven’t talked to me since this morning, I haven’t seen your face since you left the room! I’ve walked around in the house, worried that Charles or Hank will say something negative about the situation. And you just _leave?!_ What the hell man, is our relationship and friendship going to be ruined because of some pointless sex?!”, Sean shouted. He was upset, so upset that tears burned in his eyes. Alex walked up to him and pointed at him.  
”It was not pointless!” he shouted.  
”It wasn’t pointless to me either!” Sean screamed. The boys got quiet. They just stood looking at each other. Then Alex looked away. He didn’t say anything. Sean took a breath, waiting for Alex to say something. But when it never happened, he waved his hand in the air and snorted.  
”Fine, whatever. Fuck off”, he said and turned around and walked away.  
”Sean wait…” Alex said with a tone that sounded disappointed, and filled with regret. Sean didn’t look at him, nor did he stop.  
”Just… leave me alone. Just don’t bother.” and with those words he left the bunker.

Alex and Sean didn’t see each other or talk for days. Alex spent most of his time in the bunker, the rest of his time in his room. Sean was switching between being in his room and taking a smoke outside. Charles and Hank knew what was going on, and tried to convince them to talk. But neither Sean nor Alex listened. Alex felt bad. He felt really bad. He wanted to apologize, but at the same time he didn’t want to bother Sean. So he left him alone. At least for now. Alex felt like such a sissy when he lied in his room at night, crying. He just wanted Sean back. His best friend back, his special best bud. Their relationship. The kind of relationship he never had before, not with anyone.  
Sean was confused. He had no idea what he wanted, he felt empty, rejected, hopeless. A part of him told him to let Alex go, they’re just going to end up hurting each other again. He wouldn’t be able to handle that. But the bigger part wanted Alex. Every single part of him. Sean had feelings for him, and he was hoping that Alex felt the same. But he didn’t find out. Alex was probably horny and sexually frustrated; he probably just wanted to fuck someone. Simple as that. Their lips never touched. It was just a sexual game, but not pointless. Alex had protested quickly when Sean said that it was pointless. None of them thought the sex was pointless. It really meant something. It must have, right?

A week and a half passed by. The boys hadn’t said a word to each other, not exchanged a single glance either for that matter. But one night, around 11 pm, Sean was going outside to take a walk around the mansion to get some fresh air before going to bed. Without thinking about it, he took a different route and passed by Alex’s room. And just when he walked outside his door, it opened. Alex stood in the doorway, but Sean kept walking. Alex grabbed his arm and looked down at the floor.  
”Wait”, he said. The first word he said to him in almost two weeks. Sean didn’t snatch his arm away, but he didn’t turn around either. “We… I need to talk to you. Please, Sean. Just for a couple of minutes.”  
Sean bit his lip, then turned around slowly.  
”Please look at me, Sean…” Alex begged, his voice almost failed him. Sean didn’t want to be an annoying bitch, so he looked up. Alex’s eyes were filled with tears, looking at him with regret in his eyes.  
”I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so fucking sorry. I knew I hurt you, and I’m the biggest idiot existing. But I was so scared Sean, I know it’s a crappy excuse, but it’s the truth. I was scared, stupid and blind. I was an idiot and, no I AM an idiot and-“  
Sean cut him off by raising his hand.  
”Stop”, he sighed and grabbed Alex’s shoulder.  
”I-“, Alex began.  
”No. Don’t say a word.” Sean commanded, and then he pushed him against the door. He fumbled with his hand after the doorknob, twisted it and the door flung open behind their weight. They both fell to the floor, Sean on top of Alex.  
”Sean-“ Alex tried to speak again, but this time Sean put his hand over his lips.  
”Didn’t I tell you to shut up?” Sean said with a teasing tone. He slowly removed his hand from Alex’s lips. Their faces were so close that their nose tips touched.  
”Close your eyes”, Sean whispered. Alex did as he was told, and Sean did the same. They linked their fingers together, Sean’s breath on Alex’s lips. Lying on top of each other, they felt every heartbeat. Their hearts rushed, and their palms were sweaty and warm. Then Sean took the step. Softly, gently he pressed his lips on Alex’s. His lower lip between Alex’s lips, it started off with a simple “lips to lips” kiss. But when Alex opened his mouth to breathe, he let his tongue slide looking for Sean’s. Their tongues touched, warm and wet. And the kiss turned into passionate kisses with tongue. Sean cupped Alex’s face with his hands, and Alex let his hands slide in under Sean’s hoodie. They lied on the floor, having their first kiss. Heart racing, hands fumbling, tongues touching. It was one of the best moments in their lives.  
They didn’t open their eyes until they broke apart, finishing off by placing a soft kiss on each other’s lips. Sean’s hands still cupping Alex’s face, they looked into each other’s eyes.  
”Please stay in here tonight”, Alex whispered. Sean smiled, nodded and placed a kiss on his right cheek. He stood up and pulled Alex up on his feet. They smiled to each other and hugged. It was okay now. Sean didn’t feel empty anymore. Nor rejected, nor hopeless. He felt appreciated. And he felt good.

They had sex again that night. But not rough, no screaming or hard words. Just passionate, kissing involved, gently letting their hands slide through each other’s hair and body. Calm, peaceful and comfortable sex. Afterwards they lied in Alex’s bed, Sean resting his head on Alex’s chest, his hand on his ribs. Alex had his arm around Sean’s shoulders, peacefully stroking Sean’s freckly arm.  
”Alex?”, Sean said.  
”Hm?”, Alex responded and placed a kiss on his head.  
”I think I fucking love you.”, Sean said. Alex felt like his heart skipped a beat, and he licked his lips.  
”You… you love me?”, he asked.  
”I know, it’s insane. But I get this feeling when I think about you and see you. I think I’m in love with you dude.”  
”It’s fucking crazy.”  
Sean bit his lip, looked down.  
”Y…yeah”, he said, almost regretting he told him that.  
”But I think I’m in love with you too. No, I don’t think – I know. I know I’m in love with you. Sean, I fucking love you.”  
A rush of relief went through him. More words than that weren’t needed. Sean smiled, tilted his head up and kissed him again. A kiss that was filled with love and passion. A kiss for Alex, his bud. His special best bud.


End file.
